


Let me love you

by shaardom



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Autumn, Character Study, Consensual Sex, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Kinks, Kisses, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Resolved Romantic Tension, adansey, lots of kisses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2018-12-26 04:53:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12051735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shaardom/pseuds/shaardom
Summary: [Chapter 1 : making out. 2 : fluff. 3 : more fluff/pairing study. 4 : possibly a kink.]Adam Parrish never felt as far away as when Gansey was holding him.





	1. Your lips will be the end of me

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [With My Hands Open](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10792110) by [HindsightHero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HindsightHero/pseuds/HindsightHero). 



> What is fanfiction for : guilty pleasures. My unproblematic one is Adansey, so here you go. I wish more people wrote Gansey, he's such a great character. Enjoy !
> 
> EDIT : I found the first fic that got me into adansey, if the link doesn't show then I'll properly link it here.

Gansey's kisses were always hesitant. He didn't want to scare anyone off with his kingly fate. Yet Adam Parrish never felt as far away as when Gansey was holding him. They were barely touching now, lingering inches away from each other. The dry light from the autumnal day created more shadows on Adam's face and added angles to Gansey's chiseled features.

"Either you're kissing me or you're not," Adam said.

"I want to," Gansey replied. "I really do."

Adam sighed and closed his eyes. Gansey lazily entwined their fingers before pressing his lips against Adam's, again. They stood in the middle of his messy bedroom because Adam had a tendency to corner himself while receiving Gansey's affection : he'd lean against something, most of the time, and Gansey didn't want him to feel trapped.

Gansey was desperate for an answer. He kissed like he did many things : after a lot of research. But Adam was an unknown topic. There were no references. Adam's lips were soft, though desperately unresponsive. He traced circles on the back of Gansey's hand with his thumb. His lips parted after Gansey's tongue had mistakenly touched them. Then, Gansey freed one of his hands to tangle in Adam's curls while deepening the kiss. He claimed his Magician without establishing a power-based relationship, although that was the easiest thing to do.

Adam almost wanted to pull back, ashamed by his mechanical reaction to Gansey's lucky clumsiness. But it felt good. He liked kissing Gansey and so, he parted his lips more to welcome him. A king— no, his king, whether he'll accept it. He ruffled Gansey's hair in retaliation, fondly playing with the golden strands before they were cut too short again.

Gansey pulled back without having enough. There didn't seem anything he could do to fulfill his needs right now. Adam led him to the bed, wood creaking under his feet. Anticipation made Gansey's heart feel like jolting out of his chest. Laying above Adam was the same as being given a power too great to wield alone. The greatness of his own desire terrified him. His elbows framed Adam's features and the more he looked, the less he could understand how any other adjective than exquisite was made qualify them.  
   
Resignation was the main feeling Adam expressed. There was something ethereal in his behavior, almost too peaceful for such a conflicted being. It was more allowing Gansey to take him than actually giving himself. He remained passive in his heart, despite playing his part of the scene. He swiftly opened Gansey's collar, revealing a diffuse redness above his collarbone. The sight satisfied him. It's one of the rare displays of power he is allowed. Gansey doesn't want to make their relationship about that, power, but in Adam's opinion, that's the way things are. He doesn't blame anyone for that. Gansey reverently pressed a kiss on Adam's forehead, interrupting his thoughts and contemplation of the accident on his own skin. Adam crossed his hands behind Gansey's neck and lost himself in the wide, brown eyes devouring him.  
   
"Adam," he pleaded. "I won't- not until you feel ready."  
   
He clenched a fist in Adam's hair in response to the knee slowly moving against his crotch. Adam closed his eyes. His left hand tumbled down to Gansey's waist and rested there for a moment. Gansey rolled his hips in both touches.  
   
"You might still want to get rid of that," Adam pointed out, sliding a finger between Gansey's bare skin and his belt. "Unless you don't mind staining it."  
   
Gansey tugged at his hair in retaliation, eliciting an uncomfortable whine. Adam preferred that though- he never felt more alive than when he hurt. If Gansey does not deem him worth the pain, then he does not give him any worth at all. Adam, on the other hand, never allows himself to inflict any type of physical pain on Gansey. It's a slippy road, where Gansey won't stop him and he'll never successfully set limits on his own. Slowly, they rolled on their sides and he found himself straddling Gansey's hips. It's a slippy road and he's being pushed downhill. His lips form a silent question and Gansey's whole being is the answer. Gansey has enough of taking, he wants Adam to give.  
   
"I don't mind."  
   
Which didn't solely applied to this context, if only Adam was willing to fully understand. He raised a hand to cup Adam's cheek. Adam flinched but didn't lean back. Instead, he wriggled out of his own shirt and slowly helped Gansey out of his. Then he laid on him, shivering despite the respective warmth of their chests.  
   
"What if you have to run somewhere right then ?"  
   
Gansey laughed, the merriness rising like bubbles in his chest before rising to Adam's ear. His legs were wrapped against Adam's waist now, while Adam moved like that. It was too late to worry about that and the answer was simple : he'll go. Adam propped himself up on all four to open Gansey's belt while Gansey fiddled with the zipper of his jeans in a delightful mess of hands and fabric. Then, Adam pulled the covers on them as Gansey's arms grew colder. Both the act of kindness and the soft sheets helped him recover.

" _Touch me._ "

"I _am_ touching you," Adam opposed.

Gansey huffed. Adam pecked his lips then sat up, motioning him to do the same. He sat between Adam's legs and Adam could have leaned against the bed's head if he wanted to. He caressed Gansey's shoulders, followed the path of his muscles down to his bulge. Gansey was leaking already. Adam skillfully freed his hardened member, his other arm loosely wrapped around Gansey's waist for now. He nudged Gansey's cheek and Gansey tilted his chin aside.

"You didn't want to come, so you'll wait until I say so."

"Fair enough."

Gansey placed his hand over Adam's, on his navel. The restraining order came at the worst time, when the stimulation peaked. Adam smiled despite Gansey not seeing him. He felt his lover's legs shaking under his and spread them more.

"You must be quite the sight."

"We must be," Gansey corrected, squeezing his hand.

Adam smiled more. He didn't bite Gansey straight away, letting Gansey's scent surround him. After a moment he dragged his teeth across a small area on Gansey's neck, poking the limits he won't cross. Gansey didn't even set boundaries about hickeys. Adam simply didn't like the idea that he'd do something that he won't allow on himself.

Gansey squirmed to get a hand behind his back and touch Adam's hardness, taking a surprised gasp from him. He didn't do much, teasing Adam with his blind, clumsy touch.

"Come for me," Adam whispered in his ear.

He then licked Gansey's lobe, going as far as daring to nibble on the side of his ear. Gansey inhaled sharply and that was it. He came fully undone, Adam all around him, according to his wishes. Adam carefully detangled their legs not to trigger his oversensitivity. Gansey rested his head on Adam's shoulder while taking deep breaths. Adam pressed a fond kiss in his hair.

"I love you."

Gansey's confession seemed to make his efforts to catch his breath worthless. Adam pressed his clean hand on his lips, letting it sink in.

"I love you too."

He received the kiss on his fingers. Gansey deserved to be reassured about his feelings. In moments like this, he felt like Gansey's equal and one day he'll understand that Gansey fought for this equality on a daily basis.

"Lay down," Adam said, "I'll be right back."

He returned with clean hands. Gansey wanted to help him, too. He kissed and sucked on a small spot inside Adam's thighs, knowing that his collarbone mark will end up renewed.

"I think I have recovered enough," he said, almost timidly, afraid by how his underlying offer will be received.

They touched often, in more or less intimate ways, but barely got to the core. He licked Adam's length from the bottom to the top to keep him going. Adam gave his head a light, annoyed push, hips bucking in the air. Gansey parted his lips and inched forward again. Adam willed himself not to move yet. He let Gansey adjust then bobbed his head down, giving small thrusts against his palate. Gansey limited his breathing not to trigger his gag reflexes, until Adam released him. 

"Pinch me if it gets too much."

Gansey nodded, panting. Adam got off to his mouth without getting too rough— that will come later. Gansey kissed his stained hips before he got too sensitive to be touched. Adam slowly sat up, fighting the dizziness. He could get Gansey ready while recovering. That's what he planned on doing. They switched positions again.

"Breathe," Adam instructed him. "I'll go slowly."

He placed his hands on Gansey's thighs and surprised him by licking his entrance himself. He drooled to get him wet and teasingly pushed his tongue against the firm muscles. Gansey still submitted to his order and breathed, maybe too deeply. The silence was heavy with wet, succion noises and soundless gasps.

"God, Adam," Gansey end up saying.

"Think you can handle two at once ?"

"Yeah."

And so Adam carefully started loosening him. It didn't take much time because Gansey was already in the right mood.

"I can keep kissing you," Adam suggested with a laugh in his voice.

He propped himself up to check on Gansey's face. An adorable redness had colored his cheeks. Adam wished it was easier to love.

"Please."

 _Yes, my lord._ Adam didn't know how ironic was this thought. He rose to Gansey's level and let him wrap his legs around his waist.

"Gansey."

Adam will never stop envying how love is evident to him. He loves, he seeks, because that's how things are. Adam repeated his name, then all of them without repressing his characteristic drawl. Gansey wrapped his arms around Adam, pulling him as close as can be, craving that physical contact. They whispered love and lust and even more of each.

"I won't last long," Gansey warned, thus interrupting their ballet of tongues.

"Me neither."

Adam sucked hard on his lower lip, as to retaliate. It itched and Gansey caught him with another demanding kiss to ease the itchiness. Adam slowly moved his hips while he took him in. Neither of them were the vocal type. Their mutual pleasure was told through erratic breathing and a few rare groans. Gansey didn't let Adam pull out even when they were both coming undone for the second time. Adam's member twitched and leaked inside of him, granting him an odd sense of completion. Adam heavily pulled back and plopped himself down right away.

"Fuck," he panted. "I'm done for."

Gansey gave way to the tiredness and closed his eyes. He was agreeably surprised by Adam's embrace yet remained quiet not to break the moment's fragile, perfect balance. In no more than an hour, Adam would be sitting in front of his textbooks again and he'd try to decipher the truths behind another medieval myth. That's how loving Adam Parrish is like. At least, he's staying over tonight. Gansey realized that he had stopped focusing on Adam's scars now. He knew they were here, but he had stopped making the difference between Adam and them. He felt the mattress shifting as Adam turned to face him.

"Gansey ?"

His voice was so low that it sound hoarse. Gansey made an effort to open his eyes and gaze at the blue ocean in Adam's. It was so easy to shrink his world to this boy.

"You're beautiful," Adam said.

He proceeded to wrap a loose curl around his thumb. Gansey closed his eyes upon feeling the gentle tug. His lips stretched in a beaming smile. Adam's laugh of endearment rewarded him. He is beautiful. Not kingly, richer or superior.

_Beautiful._


	2. Why isn't it all fun and games ?

Adam heard a faint knock. He had been reviewing lessons with a limited efficiency. Making out with Gansey made everything else meaningless until the next day. So, he stood up and went to open the door.

"Come in."

Gansey studied his features, attempting to determine whether he had woken Adam up. Most of the time, he'd refrain from coming to him like that. It was made more painful by their relationship and he found himself longing for Adam's presence more often.

"I couldn't focus on my works," he confessed.

Adam indulged him with a smile and pulled him inside. He closed the door, recreating an intimate setting.

"Me neither."

I was thinking about you. The words lingered in the air until they spoke them at the same time. It somehow broke the tension and they realized how silly it is. They shouldn't be afraid to act casual around the other. Adam closed his books and stuffed his notes back in his backpack. Somewhere along the lines, one of them suggested to watch a movie. Adam let Gansey unplug his laptop then joined him on the bed.

The plot was simple but they forgot about it anyway. At some point, the end credits rolled and Adam set the laptop aside. Gansey stretched his arms above his head, getting ready to stand up. Adam wordlessly pulled him back and Gansey was fine with that.

Their legs tangled and he stroked Gansey's cheek. The movie had lasted long enough for Gansey to feel sort of sleepy, although he didn't know how long will his insomnia let him rest.

"Adam— I miss you, sometimes."

Liar, Gansey thought about himself. He missed Adam all the time, especially when he was this close. The distance felt impossible to cross because Adam made it that way and God, it hurts. It's already hard enough that his parents weren't fully accepting this relationship for what it is, treating it more like a temporary whim.

"I'm here," Adam replied, missing the point by a short call. It is true that Gansey also missed him when he isn't there. "I haven't left Henrietta yet."

"But you are shutting me out most of the time," Gansey pointed out. "It feels the same. No, in fact, it's even worse."

It went far beyond the physical need. Adam had felt closer when they were just friends.

"I can't focus when you are around," Adam confessed. "Everything else gets meaningless or stops making sense."

Gansey knew how badly Adam needed to focus. He can respect that. But he still wished it was possible to call Adam his lover without feeling guilty about it.

"I will give you the space and time you need. Just let me know when you do, and remember me when you don't."

Adam sighed.

"You're always on my mind."

"I can't guess that."

"Alright. I'll let you know."

Adam kissed his lips, holding the back of his head. Gansey closed his eyes and let his thoughts dissolve in meaningless bits. He is definitely tired enough to get some sleep. His hand found Adam's and that's the last thing he felt. He tried to say something and felt Adam's fingers on his lips.

"Rest, Gansey."

He nodded, or rather, thought of nodding. He felt like he had dropped some metaphorical weight off his chest. Adam said he'll let him know. Gansey went with that pleasant thought and the feeling of Adam's lips everywhere on him. Adam closed his eyes only after Gansey's breathing had evened. He's unable to keep his lover company during the sleepless nights, but he can certainly make efforts to be more present during the day.


	3. The gift of thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I wish I still were a magician."
> 
> "You are," Gansey opposed.
> 
> Adam shook his head, nostalgia catching up to him. Gansey is still a king. Ronan is still a dreamer. Only he had been downgraded to a boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adansey is more complicated to write in a sexual setting than I thought— so, here is what I have to keep you waiting. Enjoy !

Adam wrapped his hands in an end of his scarf. Their scarf, technically speaking. The heavy wool was wrapped twice around his neck, then one could follow a path to Gansey before meeting the next end. Such an unlikely piece of clothing. It's the kind of thing you can only see in vintage, romantic movies— and in Gansey's wardrobe. If the piece of clothing didn't stand by its color, then it would through the shape.

"I should have planned this walk more carefully," Gansey said, having noticed Adam's gesture.

Adam waved it off with both hands.

"It's fine. I'm fine."

Gansey looked up at the grey sky stretching above the trees while the wind stripped them from the most fragile leaves. It was sad. Tragic, even. And it was beautiful in the way only such things can be, even with the knowledge that what they are witnessing is only a part of the Nature falling asleep. Transitions are hard times, for every living being.

Adam offered his hand. Gansey noticed that his own hands were colder. The scarf is efficient enough. But he's able to give Adam more than this bare minimum. Adam deserves more than that, to be accurate. They're both making efforts, so Gansey doesn't point it out and Adam is silently grateful. They strolled in the park, witnessing the slow change of seasons.

"For all we know, this could be Cabeswater," Gansey said.

"Make a wish, then."

"I wish that the wind was warmer."

Adam laughed. The weather didn't change, but a crisp leaf fell on Gansey's head. Adam flicked it into another gust of wind which carried it out of sight.

"I wish I still were a magician."

"You are," Gansey opposed.

Adam shook his head, nostalgia catching up to him. Gansey is still a king. Ronan is still a dreamer. Only he had been downgraded to a boy. And it didn't feel fair but also didn't matter, because Cabeswater fell to let Gansey stay.

"Thank you."

Gansey smiled and shrugged. They slowed down and end up standing in front of an empty pond, surrounded by weeping willows. The park is a nice place, although it's a fifteen minutes drive from Henrietta. Gansey turned to Adam, eyes full of hope. Adam selfishly took a second to engrave the picture in his mind before pressing a delicate kiss on Gansey's lips. It was stereotypical, cliché and whatnot. It was love, which they still have many things to discover about.

"The world is full of miracles," Gansey started. "Which are impossible to mimic through any logical means."

"I know," Adam replied with casualness and amusement. "Spending hours on trying to replicate a snowflake through functions have taught me that lesson."

"That's not what I meant," Gansey protested.

He didn't want to attack Adam's logical thinking and skills. Once again, he was struggling with concepts too great to define with words, and his inability to properly express them caused heavy collateral damage. But Adam didn't take the blow, acknowledging its fortuitous aspect and indulged him with a smile instead. It meant love and Gansey could get away with this but he ought to let Adam know what he felt beyond that. He yearned, even craved to put words on what brightened his day and filled his chest with that pleasant warmth.

"What I'm trying to say is—"

He abruptly stopped, his eloquence continuously failing him. Adam squeezed his hand. He was there both for the presidential Gansey and this unprepared part of him. Gansey reciprocated the discreet gesture, feeling more confident. There was the shape of a snowflake or a leaf, the wonder of water and air and above them, the marvel of Adam Parrish.

"This world is full of miracles," he repeated, "but you are my favorite."


End file.
